Since the Creation, God’s nature for humans has been to be “fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it” (Genesis 1:28). “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’ ” (Genesis 2:18). However, according to the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:25-40, remaining single in certain contexts could be a gift. Which of these two contrasting paths must I walk? I have been speaking to fellow Christians, watching sermons, and of course reading the Bible and praying in an attempt to answer this tricky question.
I often become upset that church messages so frequently revolve around couples, spouses, and children. At age 29, I have never been in a relationship or even been on a legitimate date. Up until several years ago, I had firmly believed God prepared for me a holy woman with whom to honor and glorify Him in marriage and patiently waited. Growing up, I have always had wise adults around me telling me not to seek a girlfriend for countless reasons, and, until my mid-20s, I obeyed them without questioning as obeying the message of God. Most girls I have ever had a crush on ended up entering a relationship immediately after I developed a crush, to the point I could not regard these events as a mere coincidence. The one time I did come semi-close to dating a girl I had to end following our first and only encounter, when she asked me if I am willing to die for her and even took my credit card off my hand. When God in 2015 sent me to Kearney, Nebraska, I deeply hoped, considering my age and having kept pure my entire life, finally He would reward me with a life partner, until I arrived in the city of 33,000 and noticed He had stationed me in the one place in this world where my finding a potential spouse could only be a fantasy, mainly because most Kearney residents are married by their late 10s and early 20s. I have even attempted online dating, which I do not plan to do ever again, so that people could no longer say I never tried; this unpleasant experience made me lose the little interest that I had left in a potential relationship.
Failure after failure and consistently misled for nineteen years, I no longer have a reason to believe another half of me awaits anywhere, which keeps me leaning towards the solo fate rather than the standard. Four years have passed since I started thinking this way. I can no longer even visualize being with a woman because I have accepted and become too comfortable living alone. What most people my age should be (physically) burning for, which unfortunately in many cases leads them to sin, has never tempted me. Most people desire marriage; I do not care much anymore. I have prayed over this matter for more than a decade. Every day that goes by, I am less and less attracted to women and less and less interested in dating. Do these signs mean God called me to singleness? Does He have plans for my life that requires me to be single? Only time will tell. Let His will be done.